The Weekly Daily Show / Colbert Report Post

Jon on the conviction of Lewis "Scooter" Libby:
"Some speculate President Bush will pardon Libby before he serves jail time, while others... KNOW he will."



From the writers of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Indecision 2008: Second Democratic Presidential Debate

The infinite number of prime time hours occupied by presidential debates begs the question: can't we treat these face-offs like America’s Next Top Model? You know, get rid of one candidate after each one, until it's down to the final three, and then have a vogue-off to determine the winner? Stupid politics.
Moderator Wolf Blitzer accelerated the q-and-a process by asking candidates to raise their hands to convey stances on complicated issues like "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell," military force in Darfur, and Iraq policy. Blitzer finally posed the question, "If you agree that we need to repeal No Child Left Behind, please put both hands in the air," encouraging candidates to add emphasis by waving them around like they just didn’t care. They were also invited to say "ho-o."

Stephen Colbert: "To me, every day is the 4th of July -- which is why so many of my checks get returned."