More Daily Show / Stephen Colbert Nonsense: Funny & True

Stephen Colbert's Four Horsemen of the A-Pop-Calypse
First Horseman: Television -- Shaq, you may be an athlete and a role model for kids, but you've got more important people counting on you: your corporate sponsors.
Second Horseman: Music -- Hey Sinead O'Connor, what are you charging for your new record? Thirty pieces of silver?
Third Horseman: Books -- Stephen's got an advance copy of Harry Potter, and spoiler alert: Hermione's a dude, Voldemort is the ghost of Harry's father, whose real name was Rosebud, and on the last page Harry wakes up in bed with Suzanne Pleshette.
Fourth Horseman: Movies -- Thanks, Hollywood, for teaching our children that in the face of danger they can just sit back and wait to be saved by a bunch of overgrown toaster-ovens.

Jon Stewart on the former EPA chief's belief there were no health hazards at Ground Zero:
"There is one thing in Christine Todd Whitman's defense, you have to remember she had just come off being Governor of New Jersey. Now, I'm from New Jersey. It has its charms, but I'm pretty sure she's got a pretty high threshold for toxic environments."

From the writers of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Blow For Giuliani:
Giuliani's campaign recently suffered a blow when a top adviser in South Carolina was charged with cocaine distribution. Of course, the real question remains, was he at least under forty? Because as I understand it, the rule is, all the coke you do before the age of forty can be written off to "youthful indiscretions."
Thomas Ravenel, a top advisor to Giuliani in South Carolina, was recently charged with cocaine distribution, though the US attorney handling the case concluded that the large quantity of cocaine in Ravenel's possession was obtained with the intent to share with other people, not to sell. Well, I guess that's one way to drive down the high cost of prescription drugs.