Spurs mid-season player grades...

From the great poundingtherock.com... great stuff

Manu Ginobili (The Sickness, Opus, etc.) Grade: AA++++

What can be said that has not already been said? How about this? The man's play has given me an erection three different times this season. And one of those times I was wearing my Pope-blessed erection proof Chastity Chaps!

Tim Duncan (The Cornerstone, Timmeh!, etc.) Grade: B+

He's coming along after a lazyish start. Hasn't been hurt all that much.

Tony Parker (The Wee Frenchman, Frenchie McWonderbutt, etc.) Grade: B

He was pretty freaking awesome before he hobbled his ankle. And that shit with him doing Grease with Eva was funny as all hecky-shucks-darn.

Matt Bonner (The Gingerhead Man) Grade: B

Maybe it's been my imagination, but I swear he hasn't sucked. I swear. However, if you consider how little playing time he's gotten, and who Pop's playing in his place, well, he must of sucked the suckiest donkey balls ever sucked.

Pop (Coach Wino) Grade: D-

The only thing saving him from an F is the fact he hasn't physically injured Manu yet.

Robert Horry (Ear Muffs, etc.) Grade: G

Horry's proving it's ok if you suck balls as long as it's the coach's balls your sucking. Sorry. That was gross. Just picture that. Eww.

Michael Finley (Conspicuously Devoid of a Nickname as Far as I Can Remember) Grade: C

He tries hard all the time. His multi-directional fadeaways give me the runs.

Jacque Vaughn () Grade: D

During the RRT I nearly threw my effing shoe at my tv because that horrible color commentator kept going on and on about how well he'd been playing. He sucked balls. Check his stats. They were awful. He just shot the ball a lot out of sheer embarrassment. If Tony Parker played that way he'd be tarred, feathered and shipped out of town.

Fabricio Oberto () Grade: B-

Thoroughly uninspiring but sucks way less than Elson.

Bruce Bowen () Grade: B-

Not shooting all that well lately and takes way too many jump shots. Bruce, just because you practiced your running left hander all summer doesn't mean you get to shoot it every time you're open.

I'm out of time. Sorry Brent. Get well soon. Everyone else hasn't mattered. [Edit: Sorry, Ime, you matter, too.]

The Spurs are better than you

San Antonio Spurs Tux & Tennies event on February 2nd ... so the Spurs are boring huh?

Matt Bonner Mailbox

Matt Bonner recently took time out to answer questions submitted by Spurs E-News subscribers about what life is like on and off the court for a redheaded NBAer from New Hampshire.... just some of the questions here...

Name: Billy Franklin
Location: El Paso, Texas
Question:: Are you still driving that Pontiac?

Matt Bonner: Yes, and specifically it’s a Grand Prix. It’s still kicking butt out there on the streets of San Antonio. I went with it for the decent gas mileage, affordability and excellent leg room in the driver’s seat. It hasn’t let me down.

Name: Vicky
Location: Fresno, CA
Question:: How's that championship ring feel? Do you really wear it?

Matt Bonner: It feels good to win the championship. As a role player in the NBA my personal success is mainly based on the team’s success, so the best achievement for me is the team winning a championship. I do not wear it. I’m too afraid I’ll drop it. Maybe when I’m done playing and go to banquets or formal occasions I’ll wear it.

Name: Dallas Dryden
Location: San Antonio
Question:: First, I appreciate you stepping in and carrying the torch while Tim and Tony were out. Here's my question: Who is the biggest prankster on the team?

Matt Bonner: Manu Ginobili and Brent Barry. Manu is more of the physical funny man and Brent’s more with his tongue, but both of them love the practical jokes. Brent has done the annoying beeping machine. I don’t know what you call it. It’s a little thing you stick somewhere and every few minutes it emits a high frequency beep. Because of the high frequency you can’t tell where in the room it is and you can never find it, so it slowly drives you crazy. Manu’s the king of throwing ice bags at you in the shower and that type of thing.

Name: Mary
Location: Laredo, Texas
Question: Did you get any hassle about your red hair when you were younger? I dated a boy with red hair in high school (many moons ago) and we were always teased.

Matt Bonner: First off, good for you for dating a boy with red hair! I don’t know what it is, but we definitely tend to be ahead of the pack in most areas. The good thing with me when I was growing up was that I was always bigger than everyone else, so most people weren’t trying to anger me in that regard. There was definitely a little bit of teasing, but us redheads can take it…we’re fiery!

The Red Rocket

...And while the rest of his fellow championship team drink and splash around champagne, good ol' Matt Bonner, a.k.a. "The Red Rocket," celebrates with "Canada's Favourite Brewer," non other than a classic Molson...

I don't want to meet the person that doesn't smile after looking at this... Go Spurs Go!