Carlos Tevez moving to Manchester United

Are you serious? I mean, are you cereal? Carlos Tevez, the Argentine striker is moving to Man. United... I knew he was a stinking red devil... thank god he'll be with his own kind... because Sir Alex is a vampire. But, sparing all the hate... this is a ridiculously incredible move. Man United needs another striker desperately to go next to Wayne Rooney. We saw this during the middle of last season when Henrick Larsson gave them such a lift and was a huge reason why they won the Premiership title. This deal with Tevez is only a loan at first, but has an option to sign a three-year deal after that. West Ham, where tevez curently plays, will be sure to get a hefty transfer and loan fee from United for the move.

LONDON (AP) - Carlos Tevez is due to undergo a medical in Venezuela as Manchester United close in on an initial two-year loan deal for the West Ham striker. If all goes to plan, an announcement a deal has been agreed between Tevez's adviser Kia Joorabchian and the Premier League champions could be made later on Friday. It is understood from sources close to the discussions that Tevez will initially join United on loan with the option of a permanent three-year deal worth in excess of £30million after that. Tevez is currently in Venezuela on Copa America duty and played in Argentina's win over Paraguay on Thursday night. The plan is for Tevez to join Manchester United on their pre-season tour to American once the Copa America is over. West Ham are believed to be in line for a compensation payment for releasing Tevez's registration to Manchester United.

... And ladies and gentlemen... the Red Devils just became more evil...